| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2006|10:23 pm] |
|
Oh, to add to the entry below. I didnt see M when I went to Italy. She was in Spain with her Mom. Thats what her Roomie said when I rung the bell at her place. |
|
|
| Back in Rotterdam |
[May. 3rd, 2006|10:18 pm] |
I went to Italy to see M. IF you dont know, shes a girl from San Fran that I like a LOT. Ive been wanting to have anything more than a 10 min conversation with her. Its a long story, she went to the same school in San Fran that I did, she worked at the Pub. We talked. I've sent her flowers. We saw each other (VERY briefly) at Octoberfest. Now things are going well here in Rotterdam. And she is leaving back to SF in 1 1/2 Months. I need-want-hope-desire-require to see her before she leaves.
Im starting very much a new life here. But I want to see M so bad. I think about her so much, she would probably freak out if she knew. But ofcourse Im keeping it all to myself. I just want to see her as friends. I want to see her anyway I can...
www.bloglines.com/Blakem/ I think is the address to my other blog. I'll start using this one again soon I think. |
|
|
| I miss M |
[Aug. 9th, 2005|02:02 am] |
I really miss this girl. I have a BIG crush on her. I'm in deeep trouble.
Can't think, can eat can't sleep without thinking about her.
Whent sailing with my old racing team this weekend. It was a GEORGEOUS day. We sailed from Alameda to past the Golden Gate, and then back again. But as I was watching the waves, all I could do was think about her.
We won the day too.
I can't tell M how I feel, its not right. Nothing would come of it.
Shes in SF (Im in San Mateo 1/2 hour away). |
|
|
| Cat Club was fun |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|04:25 pm] |
M wasn't there. But I had a blast anyway. Cat Club on Thursdays KICKS ASS! 80's all the way. DJs know whats up. Girls and Guys are there to have a good time.
I miss M. But I'm moving on. NO IM NOT GIVING UP. But, life may make me. |
|
|
| Jeannies Party |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|02:35 am] |
|
Good friend of mine had a post-wedding party tonight. Fun. |
|
|
| Very Depressed |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|12:09 pm] |
Turns out that M's birthday was last thursday and she was at the Cat Club in San Fran. Too bad I had moved away from the city THAT DAY and didn't go.
I called her on Friday. She was a little agitated from a well earned hangover. Turns out shes not going to be back in the city untill August. The dates she now tells me that she was going to be in the city contradict what she told me earlier (example: she told me she was going to be in the city starting next week, but she celebrated her birthday last thursday in the city. I'm pretty sure she would want to celebrate her b-day in the city), which is bad. All of a sudden the green light signals aren't so green. I told her that I really would love to see her before we both go to Europe. She says she'll call me when shes back in town.
So... thats it... Theres few other things I can do now, other than see if she'll call, but I'm not hopefull. That leave me in painful agony. I have to keep my mind occupied constantly or else I start to drift off to thoughts of her which is located in the sobbing-like-a-twelve-year-old part of town.
Ofcourse, Ovid did say that this was not an assignment for Cowards. Am I cut out for this? |
|
|
| WHOOHOO!!! |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|03:05 pm] |
I talked to M for a good 20 min or so yesterday!!! She says she wants to come see me in Germany, I cant wait!!!
-Blake |
|
|
| Abortions Prevent Crime |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|07:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None: At the library. | ] |
Yep! At least according to this guy:
Perhaps the most dramatic effect of legalized abortion, and one that would take years to reveal itself, was its impact on crime.
In the early 1990s, just as the first cohort of children born after Roe v. Wade was hitting its late teen years-the years during which young men enter their criminal prime-the rate of crime began to fall. What this cohort was missing, of course, were the children who stood the greatest chance of becoming criminals. And the crime rate continued to fall as an entire generation came of age minus the children whose mothers had not wanted to bring a child into the world. Legalized abortion led to less unwantedness; unwantedness leads to high crime; legalized abortion, therefore, led to less crime.
This theory is bound to provoke a variety of reactions, ranging from disbelief to revulsion, and a variety of objections, ranging from the quotidian to the moral. The likeliest first objection is the most straightforward one: is the theory true? Perhaps abortion and crime are merely correlated and not causal.
It may be more comforting to believe what the newspapers say, that the drop in crime was due to brilliant policing and clever gun control and a surging economy. We have evolved with a tendency to link causality to things we can touch or feel, not to some distant or difficult phenomenon. We believe especially in near-term causes: a snake bites your friend, he screams with pain, and he dies. The snakebite, you conclude, must have killed him. Most of the time, such a reckoning is correct. But when it comes to cause and effect, there is often a trap in such open-and-shut thinking. We smirk now when we think of ancient cultures that embraced faulty causes-the warriors who believed, for instance, that it was their raping of a virgin that brought them victory on the battlefield. But we too embrace faulty causes, usually at the urging of an expert proclaiming a truth in which he has a vested interest. |
|
|
| North Beach: Where the hustle never stops. |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|01:11 pm] |
So I'm well into my 2nd week living in an SRO (Single Residence Occupancy) in North Beach and already I've seen all sorts of interesting things.
Interesting thing #1:
One man walks up to another man who is smoking a Cigar outside a Cafe. After talking for a bit, the first man bends down and takes a big brown paper bag filled with ? and says goodbye and walks away. I think I just saw a big drug deal.
Interesting thing #2:
On man leans over to another man in a cafe who is reading a paper and asks "Have you found any truth in there?"
"Excuse me?" Says the first man.
"Well you know, with the corporate media powers that be, they don't give much truth ever."
"Look I don't want to hear about your political bulls**t pal, just let me read my paper." (OR words to that effect).
Interesting thing #3
Bumped into my old friend Aaron who I haven't seen in years. He lives in North Beach and is a Resident DJ at the Condor. He's really into Karioke(sp?). I PRAY I don't become infected and start singing along with him.
More to come no doubt..... |
|
|
| Love is Crazy |
[May. 20th, 2005|12:34 pm] |
Someone who I'll call "80's girl" (in case she ever reads this), was sick when I saw her on Tuesday. Been trying to get her to go on a date for a while. Asked her to go to see Star Wars.
Now, before you laugh, know that I was planning to (and did) wear my Yoda T-shirt when I saw it. NOW you may commence laughing.
She kindly passed.
She works at the pub at school, thats how I know her. So on Weds, when she was at work, I asked her how she felt and she was a little under the weather still. Anyhow, before I went and talked to her, I had gone to Halmark and got her a "get well soon" card, With "Get well soon" written in Italian because shes going to be studing in Italy when I'm in Germany.
Saw her at "The Cat Club" on Thurs night, 80s night, she loves 80s. It was beautiful and a bit painful to she her having an awsome time, she is such a beautiful soul of a person.
So my question isn't, how come I like this girl so much (I think any guy would). But, why do I feel this terrifying feeling of loss, like I have to fight in my head to keep from going into this infantile-like "I cant think of anything but you" mode? It's not love. What is it about me that gets so fixated on a girl like this? I gave her a hug on Thurs and told her bye and that I probably wont see her again now that school is over. But here I am at school, supposed to be taking care of stuff for graduation, and I've been going crazy in my head, thinking of nothing but trying to run into her one more time.
Nietzsche once said "He who dispises himself still respects oneself as one who despises". One Professor Robert C Solomon said, paraphrasing about love, that when we love someone, part of the act is to re-enforce our own conception of ourselves. We like someone because they are like us in some way, or they are not like us in some way, but which ever it is, we are re-enforcing how we think of ourselves.
I think for this girl in question, as is usually the case, its a little of both. But maybe people that get along with others so well seem subjectivly, to be akin to each person. In other words, each person sees this other person as like themselves, and that a person who gets along with a whole rage of different people have the ability to do this.
Or perhaps thinking of this girl in an idealized way, in a dreamy manner as I am, is just easier than focusing on all the real stuff in my life that I should be paying attention to.
In the end, this isn't love. But like love, knowing her makes me want to be a better person.
Thanks. :) |
|
|
| You'll never guess who I saw on BART today. |
[May. 16th, 2005|12:13 am] |
Jered from the Subway commercials

No, I am NOT joking. He was on BART comming from the Airport. He was
talking about how he parties with a lot of NASCAR racers because Subway
sponsors a lot of NASCAR drivers.
Hey, BART is a Subway of sorts isn't it? Thats means I saw Jered from
Subway on a Subway! (My god that sounds so lame it couldn't be made up.)
|
|
|
| Big fight with my (soon to be ex) roomies |
[May. 4th, 2005|12:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exhausted | ] | I just had a huge fight with my roommates over the deposit money. It's funny how people can have such different views over it. Some people work hard every day but then just let that money go down the drain. Others are very frugal. The dispute was over my deposit which I wanted back because I didn't cause any damage. They didn't see it that way. They saw my deposit (and theirs) as something that was as good as gone. Both are loosing a lot more deposit money than me, yet I cared more about it. There really is such a thing as difference in the socio-economic clases. I grew up in a upper middle class town in an upper middle class family. They grew up in a lower middle class family. I know I might sound elitest, but the point of my argument was to try and get them to see how they were just letting their money down the drain, and I couldn't do it.
They did point out that I have been a lot messier than them, which I conceede. That was more important to them. They would rather. |
|
|
| M83 Rocked!!! |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|04:24 pm] |
So I got to see my current favorite band of all time(?), M83, they kicked ass!!

Then I went with my date for the evening (Dutch girl I met at school)
to a little bar where a bunch of other people from SF State were.
Smoked with some Belgains and Frenchmen, hard to know if I made a good
impression or not The French are INTENSE people.
|
|
|
| Back in the Hunt! |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|10:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Disco "I will survive" by ? Diana Ross? | ] | I'm pretty sure that one of my Roomies, Tuyet, is now totally over her ex boyfriend. Why? Saw her going out the other night and her boobs looked about 1/2 a size bigger. :) Must have been a push-up bra, or maybe that new "Flex" one from Victoria. In the year I've been here shes never worn one.
Hey, this is all new to me I dont have any sisters! |
|
|
| What I'll miss the most. |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|11:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ulrich Schnauss | ] | I'm moving out of my appartment at the end of May. The thing I think I'll miss the most is the georgeous view of the moon that I have. I look at it every night, behind the thin clouds. Sometimes its so large. Latley its been a very full moon. Now I see why some cultures set their calender to it. Ahhh.. Its a georgeous view. |
|
|
| Ich gehe nach Deutschland! |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|10:05 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | German Internet Radio | ] | Well, my application to Arnhem, The Netherlands was rejected. But I was offered a place in a school in Aachen, Germany. Aachen is actually only an hour by train from Arnhem (both are close to the German, Dutch, Belgian border intersection). I'm a little disappointed because I think I'd get along MUCH better with the Dutch than the Germans, but I'll wait and see. Germans are a very stout and hard working people with a great love of the environment. However, they have very little sense of humor. And I love to make jokes so... well see how THAT goes. Also, the Aachen school is mostly a technical school for science and engineering, with a business school "attached", so I'm afraid that the bussiness classes will be mostly oriented towards certain types of business. Arnhem, on the other hand, strictly an international business school - thats its focus. So I think I'm getting a little bit of a raw deal. Ofcourse, I'm just fussing over what is in the large picture a minor thing, because anything is better than another semester at SFSU.
Went Kayaking with some of the international business students under the bay bridge, lots of fun. Went to McCovey cove but there was no baseball game on. Met a cute Dutch girl named krystel who I'll probably be having sex with in the near future. She may also be an intern at GCI.
Actually we need SOMEONE to come work at GCI for the summer because Derek, nephew of Mike, who has worked for us for years, has become a major dickhead. I feel sorry for the kid, hes one of those people that obviously grew up in an abusive household. But his lack of controlling his anger and his manipulative behavior is becoming a real liability. So I'm hoping to get someone from school to come in a take his position.
Went Kayaking with some of the international business students under the bay bridge, lots of fun. Went to McCovey cove but there was no baseball game on. Met a cute Dutch girl named krystel who I'll probably be having sex with in the near future. She may also be an intern at GCI.
Actually we need SOMEONE to come work at GCI for the summer because Derek, nephew of Mike, who has worked for us for years, has become a major dickhead. I feel sorry for the kid, hes one of those people that obviously grew up in an abusive household. But his lack of controlling his anger and his manipulative behavior is becoming a real liability. So I'm hoping to get someone from school to come in a take his position. |
|
|
| Felt Sick today |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|12:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | distressed | ] | I've been recently dissolusioned with a lot of stressors comming at me
from every which way as of late. Balancing my fragile financial issues.
Squirling away some money so I can take someone out on a REAL date (I
wanna take this one girl to this Indoor Mountain Climbing place in the
city called Mission Clifts and then to a really kick butt Sushi place called Blowfish Sushi
that plays club music and jappanese animation) . I've been turning to
unhealthy forms of coping latley and it HAS to stop. I went to class on
Monday after having 3 beers and I still ACED the test.
Business at GCI is going well. We had our best month EVER in Feb. I
think were up to six million in sales for this year already. Thats
about one million profit. I'm doing well in School, Work, yet I feel
unsatisfied. I think Im burning myself out.
Got an email from my cousin in Washington. He found some information on
my Grandfathers sister on my fathers side who was an artist
(Grandfather was a painter as well). She did portraits. I'll try and
post some of her work later.
|
|
|
| Arguments.... ug |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|09:06 am] |
|
Big fight with my roomies last night. I was convinced that Tuyet put up new "rules" because her old roomies came by commented on the condition of the appartment (its fine), but she assures me otherwise. The new rules have thus been taken down. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|